inaction

There are these moments in which I fail - these moments that bother me very deeply. These moments where the transgression is not in an action but in the failure to act.

I have fallen short again. This is the only way I know to make sense of it, to offer my apology to the ether.

My failure to act left me feeling more than helpless. I felt victimized by my own laziness. I felt maltreated by my own sense of comfort. Why wouldn’t I consider the impact that my inaction would have on you? Why didn’t I consider the way that it would leave you to feel? Why didn’t I…

…learn from all of my previous mistakes. This time, maybe. I will learn and be better. For you.

Roll down the window. Reach into the pocket. Reach out to that shadow. Knock on that door. Send that email. Click off that screen. Click on that button. Rise up against nothingness. Kneel down before wisdom. Check on that loved one. Be love to that enemy. Know someone truly. Truly be known. Or simply…Pick up the phone.

Inactivity. Creates difficulty. No apology. Can easily undo.

I should have acted.

I am sorry. I love you.