I am not attempting to draw comparisons between myself and Jesus or rabbis. I am merely using the above paragraph to lead into a confession about today’s post:
This story has no redeeming value, except that it is possibly humorous and probably a little strange. It is Monday morning and we could all use a little bit of nonsense.
A week or two ago, I was at my desk eating a McDonald’s salad. (I usually bring PB&J to work, but woke up late and was forced to venture out for sustenance.) And eating in a cubicle allows an employee a brief moment to catch up on the day’s news. Unless something pressing is happening at work, people around my office generally surf the internet while eating. I do the same.
So, I was reading something stupid (probably about Beijing smog or Nigerian militants or urban planning in Brazil) and eating my salad. And I take a bite and CRUNCH!!!!
(Internal dialogue: No way, I couldn’t have…Impossible…Yup, there it is…I really just did that…)
I looked down at my plastic fork. Half of it was missing. I had somehow bitten my fork so hard so as to break the entire thing off. (What is going on in my subconscious that could make me so aggressive…I mean, I was engrossed in my reading, but it was enjoyable and relaxed reading…I’m a little creeped out just thinking about it all.) Only slightly embarrassed, and yet to chew this plastic-infused bite, I looked around the office and realized no one had noticed a thing. After politely disposing of my horrifying fork-bite, I continued eating my salad, stabbing the bits with my half-fork and eventually resolving to see a psychiatrist.
Now you know.