18 August 2009

twittering for a cause

So a friend of mine went to give blood recently. And he usually faces a difficult series of questions, having been a missionary in Papua New Guinea several years ago and having contracted malaria in his time there. This most recent experience, however, was the most perplexingly difficult of them all.

The nurse began by scanning his questionnaire and zeroing in on the obvious issue. She asked him when exactly he “had last visited Malaria”. He stated clearly that he “contracted it” years ago and had not had it again. Unfazed, she made sure to double-check: “So you have not been to Malaria in the last 3 years?” The response: “Um, no I have not contracted malaria in the last 3 years.”

After consultation with the supervisor, the decision was made.
“Well, as long as you haven’t been back to Malaria in the last 3 years, you are good to give blood.”
Ok then.
In honor of his donation of precious plasma and our concern for the plight of the Malarian people, I have started a Twitter drive, a tweet-a-thon if you will.

Now I have never tweeted before, but I did sign up for Twitter some time back just in case I ever figured out what its purpose was. In the mean-time, I have attracted 5 followers, who I am sure have enjoyed my lack of twitter-iffic activity.
Beginning the 1st of September, I will give $1 to the Malarian people (if we can locate them) for every Twitter follower I get. So tell you friends and your family. Tell your neighbor and your blood-drive nurse. Tell them that the people of little Malaria need our help and (possibly) our blood. Tell them that they can help me just like they did Ashton Kutcher. Tell them that as long as they have not been to Malaria in 3 years, they are good to give blood. Together, we can make a difference!!
Follow me at http://twitter.com/kyleburkholder


  1. The little people of Malaria have suffered enough. Don't force twitter on them and note I used the little letter "t"witter because it is not the real God.

  2. I will give $100 to the Malarian people (if we can locate them) because I am rich and altruistic.

  3. I will see you in this bold and courageous endeavor and match you dollar for dollar! my heart breaks...

  4. I will personally give $100 to anyone with a Malarial or Malarian passport.

  5. hilarious, jennifer. and oh so generous.

    matticus, your wealth has awed us all.

    archie, twitter can be the saviour of all malarians...don't fight it.

    jeff, your match of my bold move is one giant leap for mankind.

  6. You're so strange. I see why you and Mike get along so well. :-)

  7. Clever,to top it off,its for a cause. Hopefully, some cleb, follows you, and gives you a huge amount of money.