of searing encouragement and arrows of restoration

On Monday night, Stef and I were hanging out post-Bella-bedtime. I was in the midst of a growing bout of idolatrous self-pity and we got a timely visit from Ryan Callahan.

Ryan had sensed my despair in reading between the lines of an earlier Twitter post and he proceeded to lay into me with every possible form of encouraging speech that anyone could imagine. I sat and took my punishment. In a way, it almost hurt to hear it all. How could I have been so selfish and foolish to have forgotten my place in this world? And when exactly did I start placing my own happiness above the hope and hunger of the world’s poor, the people that Ryan praised me for promoting so vigorously?

At some point, the punishment became pure joy. He continued to encourage me and my guilt turned into gladness. Tears streamed as he restored something deep within me. I sat speechless under a barrage of blessing. At one point, I closed my eyes and just listened intently as the words penetrated my heart. I literally felt like I was being seared with arrows directly into my heart, only it didn’t burn in a bad way. It was something like a fresh weld, a bond of strength amplifying my resolve to chase with reckless abandon the things that have been set before me.

It was a pretty good visit.